As the holiday season continues and schedules remain busy, it can be easy to forget about the grief those in your life may be feeling. Small gestures, heartfelt words, and acts of kindness are wonderful ways to acknowledge someone who may be missing a loved one during the holiday season. This blog will suggest some ways to let the people in your life know you are thinking of them in their time of grief.

Unless you are living under a rock, you know the holidays are in full force. Every store you walk into is telling you they offer the best gifts that need to be under the tree this year. Christmas songs play across the loudspeakers in the grocery store. Lights adorn houses, traffic is terrible, and don’t even get me started on the Costco checkout lines! It also means lots of parties, school performances and old fashioned Christmas cheer is abounding. However, if you are someone who lost a loved one recently, or even years ago, these weeks can feel lonely, isolating and downright sad. If you have a friend who is carrying grief this holiday season, we’d encourage you to be intentional to check on them and love on them more than usual. 

Santa isn’t the only one who can utilize a list this time of year. I’m a mom to young kids and that means my brain is in a constant state of depletion - at least it feels like that some days! Lists help me remember all the things I need to do or choose to put off until a later point. (Hi, my name is Lanna Britt and I’m a chronic procrastinator.) We use lists for grocery runs, teacher gifts, and To Dos. Why not make a list of all the people in your life who might be dealing with grief and make a commitment to reach out to them at least once over the next few weeks? I can promise you that it will mean the world to them to be “checked on” and cared for in big ways and small. Don’t forget to remember those friends who lost a beloved pet this year. They may be grieving as well!

“On the first day of grieving, my good friend gave to me….” isn’t a song but maybe it should be! There are lots of different ways to provide comfort for a grieving friend, gestures of sympathy, and ways to let someone know you are thinking of them. Here are just a few (partridge in a pear tree not included): 

• Send a snail mail card - After we lost our son Cooper at full term, I remember I was still receiving cards in the mail months later from a long distance friend and they lifted my spirits each time I walked from the mailbox! 
• Spend time with them - Grief can be lonely, especially around the holiday season. Offer to get an eggnog latte with them if they want to talk or watch a Christmas movie together if silence might be easier. 
• Daily Check In - Consistency breeds connection. Maybe your friend would appreciate a text each morning letting them know they were on your heart and you prayed for them or thought of them. 
• Deliver a Meal - Who doesn’t appreciate free food?? Whether you make it from scratch, pickup takeout, or grab a #1 from Chick-Fil-A with a half-sweet half unsweet tea (just in case you ever need my order…) delivering a meal lets them know they were on someone’s mind. 
• Be Their Plus One - If this is their first work party going without their spouse, offer to be their guest and tag along. That could be a huge relief, knowing they won’t be alone. 
• Exercise Together - We are all familiar with the health benefits of exercise post grief, so suggest going for a walk, taking a yoga class together or even trying a sauna/cold plunge studio to experience something new! 
• Listen - This gesture of support can’t be overstated. Sit and listen with no agenda, no need to share “your” story and no judgment. 
• Make them a playlist - Maybe it’s my elder millennial-ness but I have a fondness for those mix CDs we gave each other in decades past. Put together a curated playlist of your favorite songs for your friend and share it with them through Spotify, Pandora or Apple Music.
• Offer To Help - This will look different depending on their loss and circumstance. School pickup assists are great for a busy mom or dad who is navigating single parenting. For someone else, offering to help hang Christmas lights might be a wonderful way to spread Christmas cheer. 
• Invite Them To Church - If they might be open to it, invite them to your place of worship for a Christmas Eve service. Don’t be pushy about it and if they say “no,” leave it but they might appreciate the offer nonetheless! 
• Include Them In Plans - Heading out to look at Christmas lights? See if they want to join. I recently hosted a girls “Jammies and Jude Law” party to get cozy and watch The Holiday. The day before my party, a friend who has walked through multiple losses in the past popped into my mind even though I hadn’t connected with her in almost a year. I invited her to join us and even though she wasn’t able to make it, I know she appreciated the invitation. 
• Send Them a Gift - Gifts are a tangible expression of love and thoughtfulness. We’ll highlight a variety of sympathy gifts in the next section. 

If the thought of adding one more gift to your shopping list makes your eye twitch, fear not! I bring you good tidings of great joy (see Luke 2 for *actual* great joy ;) This list includes easy affordable options that can be picked up at the grocery store as well as beautiful hand-crafted sympathy gifts from Laurelbox. If you are looking for a simple manageable gift, put together an easy Italian dinner in a bag. Buy some nice pasta, a jar of Rao’s sauce, some cannolis and a bottle of red wine and “Ciao!”: yummy practical gift. If you want to give them a present they’ll cherish for years, look no further than Laurelbox. Whether you choose a custom candle, a self-care box or anything personalized, there are countless options. I’m particularly fond of their holiday collection. I love the Christmas ornaments we’ve been given over the years in honor of our two boys as well as my late father. Each year, I explain to our children the meaning behind these particular ornaments and it’s a really special time to reflect on their lives and the impact they made. 

We hope this blog explained the importance of checking in on grieving loved ones during the holidays. We suggested different ways to express sympathy and highlighted beautiful and thoughtful sympathy gifts of all types. Refer back to the 12 Ways of Sympathy list for ideas throughout the year, not just over the holidays! No matter what you do, don’t leave it a silent night. Checking in on grieving loved ones throughout the year means so much to those experiencing loss!