September is National Suicide Awareness Month. It is a time to remember the precious lives lost to suicide and the loved ones, friends, and communities who have been impacted by loss. For those who have lost someone to suicide, moving on with life can feel impossible. It’s important to be there for suicide loss survivors and provide them with the care and support that they need as they manage their grief in their own way on their own timeline. This blog will discuss the importance of Suicide Awareness Month, provide suggestions for supporting a friend or family member grieving the loss of a loved one from suicide, and suggest appropriate sympathy gifts for suicide loss. If you are looking for some practical steps on how to make an impact during Suicide Awareness Month, check out this blog that includes ways big and small to create positive change.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 to connect with a trained crisis counselor. 988 is confidential, free, and available 24/7/365.

Every year 726,000 people take their own life and there are many more people who make suicide attempts, according to the World Health Organization. Every suicide is a tragedy that affects families, communities and entire countries and has long-lasting effects on the people left behind. Suicide can occur at any age, but is growing problem for young people. The third leading cause of death among 15–29-year-olds globally in 2021 was suicide.

Grief is universal. We, as humans, will all walk through grief at some point in our lives. However, carrying the grief from losing a loved one to suicide is particularly difficult. It’s always helpful to familiarize yourself with the five stages of grief. They include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Keep in mind everyone grieves on their own unique timeline. Your healing journey may look very different from someone else’s and that’s okay! One of the most helpful pieces of advice I received after we lost our second son Cooper at nearly full term is that grief isn’t linear. It doesn’t follow a calendar. Just because it’s been X number of days or weeks or months since the funeral, doesn’t mean you or your loved one should no longer be grieving. Grief is always something we carry. 

My friend Suzanne experienced a devastating loss when her younger sister lost her life to postpartum depression at the young age of 28. She was gracious enough to share some thoughts with me about her grief journey in hopes of helping other suicide loss survivors. She writes, in part:

“After two years it still doesn't feel real. I still feel like one day I will wake up from this nightmare. Seeing as my sister never had depression prior and never expressed wanting to hurt herself, I never would have imagined this would be my life not in a million years. We were best friends and told each other everything. We were each other's “person.”  We were inseparable for 28 years. She was literally part of every memory, experience, and day so two years still doesn’t feel like enough time to fully grasp it. 

Grieving comes in ebbs and flows. You can think you’re okay for a couple weeks or even months and something In life happens and it hits you like a ton of bricks. As time goes on you learn to cope with your emotions better, but those emotions never go away. The love you had for your loved ones always remains therefore so will the grief. It’s part of your unconditional love for them.”

As you or your loved one attempt to pick up the pieces of your life and figure out a way to assemble them in a new and different picture, it can help to find ways to honor the life of the deceased. One way Suzanne chooses to do that on a constant basis is by helping raise her niece. She writes, “I tell her daughter how amazing her mom was all the time. We still make her Mother’s Day pictures and write notes to her. We get a cake for her birthday and sing to her.” Laurelbox offers a variety of suicide loss gifts that are beautiful and heartfelt. I actually sent the Shining Bright Birthday Candle to Suzanne’s family last year ahead of her sister’s birthday. 

Some other thoughtful and sensitive sympathy gifts could include windchimes, garden themed items and really anything that is personalized.  Many people choose to donate their time and or money to a worthy cause or even a gofundme for the surviving family members. However you choose to support the family, make sure to do something, even if it’s sending a simple sympathy card. Unsure of what to write? Check out our “What to Say and What Not to Say When Sending a Sympathy Gift” blog. 

For suicide loss survivors, the greatest way you could honor your loved one’s life might be in prioritizing your own mental health. Suzanne tells me she saw a grief counselor to help make sense of her emotions and that was really helpful. She also leaned into her existing friendships and those close friends of her sister. 

U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy has said, “Mental health has become the defining public health and societal challenge of our time. Far too many people and their families are suffering and feeling alone.” In hopes of spurring change, the CDC has put together five action steps to reach out to someone who may be having thoughts of suicide. This is just a brief overview so please take a few extra minutes to read the full description of each step via the link provided. 

1. Ask - Asking the question, “Are you thinking about suicide?” opens the lines of communication and dialogue. 
2. Be There - Increasing someone’s connectedness to others and limiting isolation (both in the short and long-term) has shown to be a protective factor against suicide. 
3. Help Keep Them Safe - This step is really about showing support for someone during the times when they have thoughts of suicide by putting time and distance between the person and their chosen method, especially methods that have shown higher lethality (like firearms and medications.)
4. Help Them Connect - Helping someone with thoughts of suicide connect with ongoing supports (like the 988 Lifeline) can help the person establish a safety net for moments when they find themselves in crisis. 
5. Follow Up - After your initial contact with a person experiencing thoughts of suicide, and after you’ve connected them with the immediate support systems they need, make sure to follow-up with them to see how they’re doing, either in person or via text or a phone call. 

As suicide statistics continue to rise, it’s important we as a society do everything we can to be part of the positive change in prioritizing mental health. National Suicide Awareness Month is a great opportunity to educate yourself, spread awareness, offer support and empathy to those individuals in your circle struggling with mental health, and support a friend who is grieving a loss to suicide. The final piece of advice Suzanne shared is that, “Time is really the only thing that helps and it hasn’t gotten easier, just more tolerable, for lack of better words.” A special thank you to my friend Suzanne for sharing a part of her grief journey with our Laurelbox community! 

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 to connect with a trained crisis counselor. 988 is confidential, free, and available 24/7/365.