June 2, 2018

A few years ago, I lived through a painful season that I thought would never stabilize. People kept telling me to cling to "hope" and talking about the power of "hope." They just kept going on and on about "hope," promising me that one day I would find myself again.  

And, even though their words didn't take my pain away, they did give me a reason to keep on hoping. These friends promised me that someday I would notice the song of the birds in the air again. Someday I would not feel like life was painted with darkness. Someday I would smile and it wouldn't surprise me. And, although it took many years, eventually I did feel the strange sweet feeling of hope again. Knowing that other women had found hope again kept me going. So today, I wanted to share some words I wrote when hope first emerged again in my life. I share it with the hope that you, too, can find a reason to keep clinging on when all seems lost.

And then after years of clinging to unfulfilled hope, it is easy to slowly find yourself skeptical of hope. How can you be sure hope is not a cheater? What if hope is a liar and a fraud?

But somehow, despite it all and over all the years, you don't give up. You cling to elusive hope. And then suddenly, when hope seems the most unlikely to arrive, there it is. You almost can't believe the bright and streaming light of hope invading your every pore. But here it is, true and powerful and giving. So you take this memory of this beautiful and life changing hope and you tuck it into the far corners of your heart. You save it up so that when the darkness returns, as it always does, you can run your hands over the memory of this hope and hang on when all seems lost. We know the darkness will come back. But beautiful women, we know the hope will come back stronger. Cling to it. Cling to the promise. Cling to the love that powers the hope.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23